Golden core

Reflections about a golden core is the title of a picture my ex-husband painted for me. I found it one morning as i went sleepy into the kitchen. It was beautiful and meant a lot to me.

My mother is after her 14. suicide attempt in a waking coma. As i packed to visit her, i came across the Reflections about a golden core and because i am a great believer in give things away that are especially precious to you, i took it with me.

I left it there with her.

I am not the person who is in charge concerning her, but her exlover Manfred is. Manfred has some problems with me, always had and i am afraid always will.

As i visited her the next time the Reflections about a golden core where gone.

I am sure Manfred throw it away.

I have a hard time understanding him, but on the other hand he was the one who left her alone on this dreadful evening. The evening she took tablets and alkohol and went into the Rhein (rhine). He has to live with his decision and I am forever grateful, that it was not me, who visited her this evening.

You can have all the training in the world, a part of your soul is asking, was there a chance to avoid it, what have i missed.......

So, i have a lot of patience with Manfred, but i miss Reflections about a golden core.